Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize