Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
