you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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