heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
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Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
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I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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