If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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