never play flip cup with pint glasses
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I need moral support for this bender
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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