I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize