Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
