sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
