There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
