it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
