i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
