That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
How naked do you want me to be?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
