I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
