Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
how does that bad decision feel?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize