i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Randomize
