so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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