I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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