I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
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Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
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PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize