At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
This baby is an asshole
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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