Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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