Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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