Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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