This is not my ceiling
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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