Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
