i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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