i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE