I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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