She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.