wrigley field is MILF paradise
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm really busy with my period
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