a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
