Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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