i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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