just come out here and I will go home with you...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
i think i just lost a toe
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
