yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
