he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
