this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
