Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building

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(410): View more from Maryland

I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"

(201): View more from New Jersey

hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins

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(517): View more from Michigan

He made me a period mix..should I back out now?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

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(213): View more from California

"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.

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(248): View more from Michigan

last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.

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