After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
