Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um

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  (415): Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um http://tfl.nu/bp62
  Replies (8) Good night (628) Bad night (1586)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny

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  (734): TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny http://tfl.nu/rat0
  Replies (24) Good night (1125) Bad night (3457)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.

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  (301): chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING. http://tfl.nu/oa1d
  Replies (37) Good night (891) Bad night (5435)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.

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  (508): Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere. http://tfl.nu/v9sm
  Replies (17) Good night (3794) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest

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  (413): this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest http://tfl.nu/t110
  Replies (22) Good night (5341) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...

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  (410): He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone... http://tfl.nu/g061
  Replies (15) Good night (1510) Bad night (5988)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.

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  (724): Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am. http://tfl.nu/emfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2448) Bad night (848)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.

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  (604): Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible. http://tfl.nu/5wo9
  Replies (5) Good night (1006) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.

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  (617): We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water. http://tfl.nu/gx4i
  Replies (2) Good night (985) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.

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  (662): IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol. http://tfl.nu/ywt6
  Replies (1) Good night (1063) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing

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  (908): Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing http://tfl.nu/ciob
  Replies (1) Good night (868) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.

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  (912): I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe. http://tfl.nu/1u5h
  Replies (12) Good night (2802) Bad night (511)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.

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  (706): I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons. http://tfl.nu/pd60
  Replies (4) Good night (953) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them

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  (617): Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them http://tfl.nu/p251
  Replies (3) Good night (705) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.

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  (719): Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover. http://tfl.nu/9z9a
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (298)

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