Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.