Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.

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  (415): I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys. http://tfl.nu/rxe7
  Replies (14) Good night (2536) Bad night (637)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing

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  (937): oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing http://tfl.nu/lc8m
  Replies (75) Good night (5595) Bad night (898)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.

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  (609): He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night. http://tfl.nu/520f
  Replies (31) Good night (2659) Bad night (7294)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

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  (262): So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt. http://tfl.nu/9ocn
  Replies (24) Good night (671) Bad night (5212)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me

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  (647): after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me http://tfl.nu/6bhb
  Replies (13) Good night (3739) Bad night (1292)
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  (310): View more from California

  Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.

  (310): View more from California

  Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.

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  (310): Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her. (310): Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse. http://tfl.nu/0qfy
  Replies (18) Good night (4636) Bad night (1723)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.

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  (410): i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow. http://tfl.nu/v829
  Replies (32) Good night (4768) Bad night (1967)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (15349) Bad night (1451)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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  (360): He made me a "booty call of the year" award. http://tfl.nu/7b1z
  Replies (15) Good night (3862) Bad night (1339)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night

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  (732): His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night http://tfl.nu/6kh8
  Replies (11) Good night (2532) Bad night (1052)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.

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  (414): oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv. http://tfl.nu/ywog
  Replies (7) Good night (4153) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you

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  (615): Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you http://tfl.nu/wyc5
  Replies (8) Good night (3921) Bad night (730)
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  (+88): View more from

  I swear the crows are laughing at me.

  (1+88): View more from

  You my friend are stoned into submission

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  (+88): I swear the crows are laughing at me. (1+88): You my friend are stoned into submission http://tfl.nu/466h
  Replies (8) Good night (1078) Bad night (460)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting

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  (423): Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting http://tfl.nu/waaj
  Replies (2) Good night (784) Bad night (387)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO

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  (214): WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO http://tfl.nu/p2cw
  Replies (5) Good night (801) Bad night (275)

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