her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.