Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.

Fav 10 986 2037
share tweet
(925): View more from California

i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on

Fav 8 4608 1040
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(913): View more from Kansas

Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl

Fav 6 929 3019
share tweet
(773): View more from Illinois

Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.

Fav 58 6051 975
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT

Fav 17 4939 1360
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..

Fav 2 965 1477
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.

Fav 3 1384 956
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(310): View more from California

If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.

Fav 2 36 108
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

Where'd you go?

(360): View more from Washington

Laundry, im. A responsible drunk

Fav 0 42 0
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT