Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.