i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Shame is for Republicans.
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