State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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