My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She told me I should be a condom model.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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