I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
