Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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