a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The air was thick with penises
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
