i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just sucked dick on a ferry
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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