I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
