Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
