I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have feelings that need drinking.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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