Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
