Quick, to the slutcave!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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