I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
