We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
