I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
